Being Useful

Hello Readers,

I know it has been like 11 days since I last wrote an entry, I have just been feeling rather blah lately because of some of the stuff going on in my life. I recently had to drop out of college because of my hand issue, but I am determined to get back in class by September. As I sit here writing this I realize how rather uneventful my last few weeks have been because I have mainly just been getting my stuff ready for surgery. I did however go and see a couple of movies. I went and saw Now You See Me and Fast and Furious Six, and Star Trek: Into The Darkness.

Personal Review: Does Not Contain Spoilers!

Fast and Furious 6: I have to say that out of all the F&F movies, this one had to be one of my favorite movies. I am especially looking forward to the next one. If you haven't seen it yet, sit around a bit after the credits, there is an awesome extra scene. I thought this one had way more action than the other movies, and I was blown away by what they were able to visually accomplish. It had a good story line and didn't take away from any of the previous films like sequels often do. In all I give it 4.5/5 stars, just because there was a few things I didn't like, but to remain spoiler free I won't say anything here.

Star Trek Into The Darkness: This was a visually outstanding movie, there was some bloopers here and there that was hard to miss but at the end of the day it was still an amazing movie. I used to watch the series on TV so I especially like that they have made it to where the movies had no impact on the television show. I also like that they are bringing in younger versions of characters from the show to mix things up a bit. I have to say this is one of those movies you just have to see in theatres to really get a good impact from the visual aspect of what is going on. That and I am a nerd and movies like this are always a must see in theatres. 4/5 stars, because of all the noticeable bloopers.

Now You See Me: WOW, this movie is by far the most original concept for a movie that I have seen in a long time. Now, this is a must see movie!! I knew the ending from the beginning but that didn't take anything away from the movie at all. I liked that they unravelled a lot of the old magic tricks (which they tell you in the previews) and the concept is simply amazing. It just goes to show that a little magic can go a long way. For me this movie was more entertaining because I was able to pick up on how they did certain magical tricks. Sure, some of them were done via script, others via movie magic, but there were other tricks in there as well. This is my must see movie of the summer. It is a good movie for kids, there is some violence and cussing, but it visually appealing. The story line isn't the same story that has been told for the last 10 years, and more importantly! it's not another reboot! I was so getting tired of those. For this movie 5/5 for sure!

Over the last few weeks I fell off of what I call my fitness wagon, I just wasn't hungry and didn't have motivation. I thought that I had packed the weight back on, but come to find out I am holding steady at my weight loss. That made me feel good to know that after 30+ days hard to get healthy, it wasn't blown in a week like it could have been. I still can't believe that it only takes 2 bad days to undo a weeks worth of work or more.

Today was a pretty exciting day for me and for a lot of people in the United States. It is a historical day with Prop 8 being overturned by the supreme court and DOMA being filibustered. It is a great day to be a woman, because we have our right to choose back, and a great day for the gay community because we are one step closer to equality that we all deserve. Equality for all is no longer a thing of the past, who would have thought?

I also did something today that I normally wouldn't do. I was at Barnes and Nobles picking up a couple of the Jillian Michaels books I didn't have when I saw a lady looking over all these different diet books. She seemed vaguely confused with everything and I asked her if she needed any help. Being on the fitness journey myself, I know that seeing all those books just makes you want to scratch your head and wonder who's guideline to follow. After talking to her for a bit I asked her if she had ever read anything by Jillian Michaels, because she kept talking about all these fad diets that she had tried. She said no, so I took a moment to explain how some of her books work. Just incase people are curious, I will break down her books for you incase you are interested in giving her a read.

Winning By Losing: To sum up this book in quick detail, it is about getting you psychologically ready to lose weight. Lets face it, if our minds aren't into what we are doing then our motivation drops and we stop something all together. This book also helps you with the nutritional aspect of losing weight. For people who are wanting to get in shape but lack the focus this is a good place to start.

Unlimited: Believe it or not, this book isn't about getting physically fit! This book helps to guide you into discovering your dreams and setting up a game plan to reach them. Those goals and dreams could include getting physically fit, finding your dream job, or something else completely different. If you need some guidance to help you figure out what your life goals are, this is a good book to start with.

Master Your Metabolism: This is all about the science behind losing weight. JM teaches you how to boost your metabolism and make the most out of every meal. If you are tired of having fallen victim to diet fads, this is a good book to read because it tells you everything you need to know about calories in and calories out. This book is truly a godsend to those who don't understand why fad diets are bad and why programs like Weight Watchers and Jenny Craig, may not be your best option. Don't get me wrong, those programs are proven methods that do work to help you lose the weight, but they are programs that are a lifetime commitment so if you get off the track you have to go back and start all over. With learning the science behind weight loss you control your diet without having to count points, or depend on meals to be sent to you, because you already know how to make any meal work for you.

Slim for Life: This was my first JM book that I started to read, when I realized that dieting wasn't as easy as they show on TV. The nice thing about this book, is that she explains various eating habits and lets you decided what you will and won't give up to lead a healthier life. She also debunks weight loss myths and helps instill confidence that you aren't giving anything up by trying to get healthy. If anything it teaches you that for every unhealthy option out there, there is a healthier option available.

Making the Cut: This book is all about losing those vanity pounds. What are vanity pounds? Those are the last 10-20 lbs that people want to take off to look as good as they feel. This is that little bit of flab that just won't seem to go away. It is important to know that this is not a book to target problem areas. There isn't a way to target one area to lose weight in that area, you have to work the whole body to get results, because everyone's body stores fat in different areas. This book is all about how to lose those last few pounds, it even comes with a meal guide to help ensure you will succeed.

Now, some of you may be thinking that Jillian Michaels is just a name, and she is making money off of things that people already know. Just so you are aware, this is something that JM has said herself, that she has made her living off of four simple words 'Calories In, Calories Out.' She isn't reinventing the wheel with her books, she is giving you the tools that you need to succeed. With that being said she also doesn't consider herself a trainer or a guru, she likes to see herself as more of a life coach. She is just one of many people in the world that are trying to help the world get healthy. She may be just a name to some people, but she is also a name that knows what she is talking about and all of her books help to make sure that you get the most out of life.

With that being said, I was really proud of myself because just randomly talking to people isn't something that I can typically do without freaking out with anxiety. I should let you all know that having a sleeve of tattoos and purple hair doesn't really make people want to talk to you. If anything it intimidates people because they think that I am some weird person when really all I am doing is just expressing who I am without having to fit myself into the box that society has been trying to put me in. I have let go of that responsibility sandwich and I am doing things that make me happy, because despite what others may think, I do deserve to be happy.

After talking to the woman in the store, she gave me a really good compliment. She said she was grateful for having met someone with the knowledge that I have, Thank you Jillian Michaels, and that she was glad that I had been there because it made it easier for her to decide where to start. Needless to say, she picked up every one of Jillian's books... minus the cookbook because I had taken the last copy, and she bought them. She also told me that I needed to pursue a career in dieting and health care because of what I have learned. Really, I didn't tell her anything that people don't already know, it is just that the little voice inside of our heads that tell us not to eat that has been silenced by commercials and ads that we see on TV. Her stuff is all about getting back to reality and it works.

Before leaving the store, I told the woman that I was going to become a therapist and she told me that she would happily pay money to come see someone as insightful as I am. That is a huge compliment for someone who has been riding a wave of negativity for the last few years. It encouraged me to keep doing what I am doing, and that encouraged me to want to continue to help people. So here is my questions for all my readers out there.... Do you have a question that you have done to help a stranger? I am not talking about a good deed, I am talking about taking time from your day where you actively engage with someone you don't know as a way of helping them accomplish something. Leave a comment below and let me know how you help to make the world a bit of a better place.

That is all I have for now, I will try to write more often until I go in for surgery. Have a great day!

Sincerely,
Gypsy

My Week Off

Hello Readers,

I took a last minute week off from blogging because my partner took a vacation for work and I wanted to spend some time with her. I also had to spend the week prepping for my next surgery, which was a lot harder than I expected it to be. I had to go to the bank and make sure I could deposit checks, I won't be able to sign them but I got that sorted out. I had to finish up the process for dropping out of college, I wasn't exactly happy about that, but I am out of medical leave so it was either that or end up failing out which wasn't an option for me. After that I had to get all my mileage information for my LNI claim so that I can get paid back, I can't believe I have traveled 4033.2 miles since this all started.

The week wasn't all bad news though, as a matter of fact I finally got my partner to understand why I went organic, and now she is trying to go organic too! I was so proud of her when I saw her come home with a bunch of organic foods, where she used to come home with nothing but junk. It will be nice to not have the temptation anymore.

This week has also been one where I didn't follow my diet so well, I still ate healthy but I ate more than I should have because my partner was on vacation. Today is a new day, I am going to get back on my program and try and actually watch my calories intake.

Let's see what else did I do this week.

Oh! I went and saw two movies that I have been dying to see, and I have to say they were worth the money for sure. I went and saw Fast and Furious 6 and Star Trek: Into The Darkness I highly recommend both of them. Next week I am supposed to go see Now You See Me. I won't talk about the movies cause I don't want to spoil the endings but they were great!

I also came up with a list of blogs entries that I would like to write about, here is a list of the few that I know I will be writing about in the future:

1) Protein Powders
2) Zumba
3) People Who Inspire Me
4) A Letter To Myself
5) A Letter To My Loved Ones
6) Anti-Bullying
7) Homemade Shakes Without A Blender
8) Video Games
9) RPGing
10) Struggles Of Writing My Book
11) Surgery Update
12) Weekly Music Playlists
13) Shopping On A Budget
14) Movie Of The Week
15) Bucket List
16) Recipes
17) Psychology

I am sure I will think of more in the future but these are what are on my mind right now. I am also going to try and participate in other bloggers weekly topics. Naturally from July 11th till probably August 1st I may not be able to update my blog, so I may write a few entries in advance and schedule them to post while I am down.

Also.... am I the only one who cries every time Betty gets the letter from the war department. I can't stop watching this movie and I always cry when it gets to that part. I've even tried muting it and skipping over it, but nope I still cry.

Anyways, I hope you all have a good weekend and Happy Father's Day to all the Dad's out there :)

Sincerely,
Gypsy

My Dominate Hand

Hello Readers,

As some of you may or may not know, for the last three years I have had issues with my right hand. I have had to fight LNI for three years trying to get my hand back to normal and finally be without pain. For three years I lived at a six on the pain scale, no doctors wanted to give me pain meds because they thought I was a junkie. The truth of the matter is I hurt that bad and all I could take was over the counter pills that did nothing for pain. 

After fighting two years to get my claim reopened, the LNI company that protects my employer has fought me every step of the way. I've been to a number of doctors over the years and been to several appointments just trying to figure out what I did.

4000+ miles of driving to and from appoints led to finally getting answers. They noticed that the tendons on my pinky and ring finger were not staying on the knuckles which was why my fingers drooped down and I couldn't bring them up unless I taped them to my middle finger. 

This whole process has been a nightmare, but once we actually knew what was happening (or so we thought) I was told I needed surgery. I didn't need a  doctor to tell me that, because my fingers didn't function. They said the two years of no treatment broke down the muscle in my hand, because my hand wasn't functioning correctly. Needless to say this led the LNI company to sending me to not one but four independent medical doctors who all said that this was all in my head. It took me going off on my rep from the private LNI insurance company to finally get them to take action. Simply threatening to get an attorney was all it took to get them to start signing off on things.

In November of 2012 my doctor was all set and ready to reattach the tendons but the LNI company kept rejecting for one reason or another but finally in mid December they agreed to pay for the surgery. 

January 17th came pretty quickly after that, and my tendons were reattached to my fingers and I started physical therapy rather quickly. Then came the second problem of me not being able to close my hand, which granted was better then not being able to open it. 

From January until June of this year I went the PT twice a week and was always doing my therapy at home as well, but I was still in pain. I kept wanting to cry every time someone touches my pinky cause to put it lightly it hurt like hell. Actually, my pinky hurt worse then the recovery from surgery. 

This left the physical therapist and my doctor a bit baffled and they didn't know what to really do other then continue PT and see if it improved. Well it didn't improve, the pain not only got worse, but the more we worked my pinky, it started to curve. They referred to it as my finger scissoring, and let me tell you it hurts. On a good day my pinky will sit on top on my ring finger and stay there which causes the least amount of pain. On a bad day it will rest under my ring finger giving me the most pain.

Well finally on June 4th I got to see the Dr again and he was still baffled by this curve in my pinky. So much so that it didn't even matter to him that after months of having hardly any movement of my hand, I could make a fist. To me that was exciting but being a doctor he was more worried about the pinky. 

After he took some X-rays he came back and showed them to me and the bones in my pinky were clearly not sitting right which explain all the pain. He believes that when I injured my wrist I either, broke, fractured, or dislocated the bones in my pinky, but he can't tell which happened because there is not previous X-rays of my pinky because no one listened when I said the pain shot up into my fingers.

So now that we know what was causing me so much pain, which is the fact that my pinky has to use the muscles in my arm to function, causing pain and tension in my wrist, we have to fix it. Now, you are probably thinking this is going to be an easy fix.... nope!

Not only will he have to find a way to recenter my bones after three years of healing and scar tissue, he also has to rotate the bones so my pinky will be straight again. He also told me that I have likely been dislocating my finger throughout the years, doing average everyday things and hurting it more because we didn't know about that particular injury to begone with.

So here we are, passed the three year mark of my injury and I find out I am having another surgery. Now, some of you may be thinking this is a good thing, that my hand will be fixed and life will be normal again. This could potentially lock my pinky up completely, leaving me with what I like to call... A British pinky. I would rather have my pinky always sticking out them scissoring my ring finger. 

Here is the kicker though, in order to fix the bones in my pinky, they have to break my hand, not the finger but they are literally going to cut open my hand and break the bone to rotate and recenter my finger. Then they are going to undo three years worth of scar tissue. Thing that gets me the most... I will get no cast!

I will be walking around with my hand broken and no cast for me because I will have to keep using my hand to avoid the scar tissue from forming again. Oh, and depending on what time I have surgery I could go right from the recovery room into physical therapy... Aren't I just the lucky one. 

With that being said, it took this LNI company over a month to approve my last surgery so I thought I had some time... Boy was I wrong. I got the phone call yesterday saying my surgery was approved. I was floored because I figured it would be August before we got any answers but nope, one phone call to my claims manager was all it took to get my second surgery approved. 

This caused a mad scramble in the home front because now we have a month to get things ready for me. My partner has to take time off of work because I won't be allowed to be alone for the first five-seven days. She has to give a months notice so she was on the phone right away with her work.

Then came telling everyone the surgery is just around the corner. Naturally people have a lot of questions about it and all I can do is shrug and say I don't know because a lot of the questions being asked, I honestly don't have the answers too. I won't know how long I will be in surgery. I don't know how they are going to secure the bone in my hand after they break it. I don't know how often I will need physical therapy. What I do know is they are breaking the bone, rotating my pinky till it sits right, breaking up scar tissue and releasing the capsule in my pinky because scar tissue formed over it and now it's stuck. Everything else will be a mystery until I wake up. 

I am not really looking forward to this surgery because of how much I don't know but the doctor said he won't even know until he gets into my hand and sees what three years of scar tissue looks like. 

I won't know how long I will be down, but what I do know is that I am so ready for this to be over. Thanks to my hand I lost my job, I have to drop my master's program, and I very well may lose my car because I'm not sure how much longer LNI will be sending me money. I do however know they want me off the books ASAP because I've already cost them over $100,000.00 in medical costs.

I am hoping when all of this is said and done I will be given some form of a settlement because the LNI place was such a pain and it took them so long to do anything I am not having a second surgery. To add insult to injury, I am right handed so for the last three years I have had to learned to adapt and accept there are things I simply couldn't do. There is also a bit of irony in this as well, because the Friday before my follow up with my doctor, I was releases by my PT to start doing normal house hold chores like washing dishes. I now have a 1lbs weight limit on my hand so I am back to not being able to do much of anything at all. 

I am so ready to be done with all of this, to have my hand back and be able to function on my own. To not have to worry about what I do with my hand. I'm ready to have a job again and finish up school. I'm just ready to be a fully functioning person again. Hopefully that will happen in the next three to six months, but only time will tell. 

So there you have it, the seemingly never ending tale of my battle to get my dominate hand back. 

Sincerely,

Gypsy